My Friend Kary

It has been two weeks since I lost my wonderful Kary.  Her family is gathering on August 25th to celebrate her life.  For those of you who cared about her, please take some time on that day to light a candle, send good energy and leave a comment on her blog.  Her husband and her best friend Julie are trying to figure out how to access her blog to post the comments.  If you get any other directives from ignore them.  As horrible as this loss has been, the wound that SL created has added  tremendously to those of us that loved Kary.  A falling out happened years ago and Kary was incredibly hurt by this person.  When SL found out that Kary was sick, she never contacted her or had anything to do with her.  Within days of Kary's death, SL showed up at her house, camera in hand and invaded Kary.  She photographed John's lovingly built chicken coop and posted it on her blog.  She had the nerve to say she was helping John heal.  I can not believe the intrusion on Kary's territory and how someone could take advantage of John at his most vulnerable point.  I know a lot of people have been hurt by this person's actions.  It just made me angry.  I know how Kary would have felt about SL walking around her house and gardens, petting her precious Teddy (she never gets Kary's pets names right), and acting like an old friend.  This is for you Kary.  The last gift I can give you!  Your true friend...Joyce

you can see the phony post here:


I'll be there with my glass of wine,
Joyce. Kary adored you, and now I know why.
Way to go Joyce! Kary was a dear wonderful person that should be respected in the highest regard. I will certainly light another candle on the 25th for she and John. People always seem to show their true colors. Thanks for posting. Kary would have loved you standing up for her.
So sad that someone trespassed on her heart and soul after she had left this earth. You are right to be angry. On the 25th I will light a candle and remember your friend. I am sorry I didn't find out about her wonderful blog. And her LOVE of Halloween, that I have too, until after she had passed. You were a good friend to her. I am so sorry for your loss. Take care.
Barbara F. said…
I'd sue this "SL" for 1) trespassing and 2) using unauthorized photos. This is so disturbing to me and I did not know Kary or her blog, unfortunately. What a despicable person to do this after her passing.

I am sure Kary is at peace and will be around more than anyone realizes. And SL will have her date with Karma, as Karma doesn't forget. xo
Dog Trot Farm said…
A candle will burn brightly here in Maine on August 25th in honor of Kary. She is missed. Thank you Joyce for taking the time to leave me a comment in regards to Kary's death. Blessings, Julie.
Robin Larkspur said…
I am supporting you 100%, Joyce. I am personally devastated by this betrayal, as I had respect and admiration for this SL. I saw the post several days ago, and thought, "How nice". Now I am sickened and disheartened. I so wish I had known Kary and am very sad I never did. The last post on her blog is of your gift to her, with a beautiful autumn picture. A testament to her love for you.
I trust you completely Joyce and know you would not say things that were untrue. I am UN-following SL's blog, and UN-joining her "club". Kary must have been very very special to have such a true and dear friend as yourself.
laurie said…
so so sad, I only had read her blog for a short time, but the tenderness and fierceness of which you write shows me just who her true friend was, bravo for you, I cannot understand how people can have the nerve to do such evil things, so so sad.
Barb said…
I basically think most people are good. It never ceases to amaze me how badly some people behave and how mean and nasty they are. Good for you for sticking up for your friend Kary. You are the kind of friend I would like to have. Take care!
I know this post made our Kary smile! How I miss her emails . . .
luckybunny said…
I might be getting married on August 25th! ;) Might.

I absolutely will light a candle for her that day.

Not right about this other person at all.
Oh dear. Death can sometimes reopen old wounds in an especially hurtful way. Good for you for speaking up for Kary's truth.
Rachel Lucas said…
Dear Jaz, I'm so so sorry for the pain you're feeling...I was in touch with Kary too (nothing like you, of course) & her death has been a huge shock for me. I will definitely light a candle & raise a glass to a good soul & a dear spirit. I knew about how let down Kary had been, how upset she was...when I read the SL post, I thought somehow things had been patched up between them. I'm very shocked to find out the truth.Sending hugs & special thoughts to you in your suffering xoxo Rachel
SharleneT said…
Thank you for doing something more people should do in exposing hypocrisy. I'm not saying SL didn't regret the falling out, over the years, but it should have been privately done. Her blog gives the illusion to all her followers of a very different relationship and it's a true outrage. Not to mention how 'special' she has become in the eyes of her followers unaware of the situation. I didn't read the comments because they would have been full of sorrow for her loss, praise for her rushing to help John in his grief, and great publicity for her upcoming book release.

I didn't know of her blog until today but I most definitely know of her kind. I'm so sorry for your loss and I will definitely have a candle lit for Kary on the 25th.
petoskystone said…
If SL wishes to address her guilt, then she needs to stop the cowardly backstabbing & address Kary directly while leaving John out of it. My condolences!
I wonder why people feel the need to do something like that? I'm glad You exposed this hypocrisy!

Oh Joyce, what a horrible happening. I didn't know either of these people. But am very, very glad that you have done this service... To your Dear Friend who has passed, and can not stand up for herself, anymore.

Ugh... Ugh... Ugh... Things like this leave a very bad taste in the mouth, in Pretty Blog Land.

Someone said karma.........
Ina in Alaska said…
I never knew of Kary's blog but your powerful post here says much about your love and respect for your friend.

So very sorry about everything Joyce. I will mark my calendar to light a candle on August 25 in Kary's honor. A worldwide show of love, good wishes and respect.
SL doesn't need to be sending me emails about misinformation. I got the information first hand. Nor does she need to quote Script and Verse to me. How about do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How would she like it if someone treated her the way she did Kary and some of her friends. Some people are just born losers.
Nellie said…
Joyce, it is easy to see how very much Kary meant to you. You have illustrated what it is to be a true friend.
jody said…
im sorry for your loss and things that come up that dont help the situation. i will be remembering kary and you! thoughts and prayers!
I can't figure out what you would call a person who would do such a despicable act. When someone passes on the only thing that makes you feel better is knowing they are at peace. Kary was a lovely person and regardless of that thoughtless, self serving act Sharon perpetrated I truly believe Kary is at peace.
Dog Trot Farm said…
Joyce, last night I could not sleep as I kept thinking of your post and the SL. In the middle of the night it finally dawned on me who you were referring to. I reread your post and there was the blog address, which I did not notice the first time I read it.I did go on and read SL's post, I am so disturbed by this intrusion. On Kary's behalf I am befriending this blogger. Sincerely, Julie of Dog Trot Farm.
First my sincere sympathies for the loss of a dear friend.
Second, I followed SL for sometime, she does not post much.
Third, when Kary lost Buddy, I kept in touch because I understand such loss, and wanted her to know I cared.
Fourth, I did not know of the situation with SL and I am wondering if someone will be there when Karma shakes her world.
I've already lighted candles, and I will be honored to observe Kary's celebration day.

I did a post prompted from SL's post. I am embarrassed, I thought I was doing a good thing.
This is just so very sad. So sorry to hear of your friend's passing and for the intrusion. All too often the 'culprit' tries to come out on top...shame.
Suzanne said…
I will find a special candle to light......

I feel some bad Ju Ju coming the SL's way
Guillaume said…
Some people are just scavengers.
Janet said…
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. What very odd behaviour from her former friend - it could only make a bad situation worse to have a negative influence in your home so soon after a tragedy. I hope someone will speak to the person and try to make them understand how inappropriate that was.

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us.

Laura said…
I am so sorry that you lost your friend Jaz. This added incident was just too much....some people can only ever see their own side of probably seemed perfectly fine to her to commit this complete breach of Kary's privacy because in her mind it exonerated her from all past wrongdoing. In other words, she did that for herself and not in any way for Kary or John. These people have a list of justifications for their actions a mile long....better just to have your say and move on...sadly, they will never change. I think you are an awesome friend....death may part us from those that we love, but the love we have shared with them is eternal.