Dead Mother Cookies

 My mother has been dead for a very long time.  She died when I was a little girl.  I hardly remember anything about her but I do remember her oatmeal cookies. I have nothing of hers except for this recipe box.  It's a weird experience to lose a mother so young. I've spent my life wondering who she was and what she was like.  Mother's Day is always especially sad.  I still carry the wounds of having to make things in school for Mother's Day knowing I had no one to give them to. And though I have few memories of her, I remember the day she got this box.  She was a den mother for the cub scouts and one of the boys brought her this box and a recipe holder (long gone) as a thank you to her.  I don't remember his name but his mom's name was Dorothy. I was about 4 years old.

 In retrospect, I think having her recipe box is the best thing I could have ended up with.  I don't make many of her recipes, I don't remember her being a very good cook.

 She did bake good cookies though.  Yesterday I pulled out this recipe to make oatmeal cookies for my future DIL.  I looked at this old recipe card and smiled thinking about my mother making these same cookies.  I assume the stains on the card are from her. A very long time ago she stood in our kitchen on a day much like yesterday and made these same cookies.

I have made these cookies too many times to count.

 Life is so strange.  I wonder if she imagined that a daughter who she hardly knew would be baking her recipe 60 years later.

 So much for nostalgia.  My eggs were too big and the cookies came out looking like Teddy puke.

I almost threw them out but I gave them to my future DIL along with a big apology.  Being the sweet girl that she is, she thanked me profusely and said they were delicious and amazing.  I love this girl! Life goes on, eh?


Bee Haven Bev said…
"Teddy puke"....hysterical. I am sure the "look" did not affect the taste one bit! I often wonder what my kids and grandkids will remember about me long after I am gone. Hubbs lost his mother when he was young. I never even thought about the Mother's Day thing.....but, now the day has new meaning for you....and one of these days you will be a Grammie and it will mean something altogether different!!
Being a great cook obviously runs in your blood lines. This was a beautiful post about the culinary connection between your mom and you.
Anonymous said…
awww, Joyce,,, you were cheated on having a Mum but you are the best Mum to your children,, these cookies look great,, I make some like these and they spread and become chewy and crispy ,, the best!!!
I'm glad you have her recipe box,,
Tikkun said…
You are so funny! Love your direct transition from misty nostalgia to blunt reality. Your DIL knows to appreciate a MIL who goes to the trouble to bake her cookies *and* a weekly cake just bc she knows her DIL loves cake :)!
Guillaume said…
Might sound really after such a long time, but I am sorry for your loss. Those cookies look delicious. The apple didn't fall far away from the tree.
Cottage Tails said…
Lovely memories. Bet the cookies still tasted mighty fine.
Anonymous said…
Teddy puke :-) :-) :-)

I'm pretty sure they tasted delicious though, oatmeal cookies are my favorites.

Have a great day!

This story touched my heart for so many reasons. The image of you as a small child being forced to make a card in school for a mom that has passed is so cruel, IMHO. Let me tell you how precious your mothers recipes are. Her recipe box too. When members of my family or my husband's have died, there were only two things I ever wanted from their estates, " Their recipes and their sewing kits." My mom's oatmeal raisin cookies will live on, like your mom's. I bet your future DIL loved every bite.
Mary Ann said…
This is so funny. My last two batches of chocolate chip cookies came out looking like that, and I thought it was because I had melted the butter before mixing.

Your post just about made me cry.

1st Man said…
What a touching and moving thing to share. Thank you for sharing. I know others have said it, but I'll say it again, you are the mother to your kids and all the kids that must think of you as their second mother and THAT'S what matters.

Your recipe box looks great for being so old. I think your mother would be tickled as heck that you have her old recipe box and bake her cookies. I am sure she treasured you as I treasure my girls.
I am not the greatest cook in the world either but my favorite recipes are in an old wooden box that my daughter, Sandy, gave me as a little girl. She said she wanted that recipe box some day but of course she is gone now..and that box means the world to me. I don't know who will get it when I am gone..but with three daughters left it will surely find a home with one of them. Her name is on the bottom and the year she gave it to me for Mother's Day.
I am so glad you shared that story with us. A little girl without a Mom is a sad thing. A very sad thing. As it is with any child.
Fiona said…
I have found looks are often deceiving when it come to cookies and flavor and home made. Do you use Duck eggs when you bake?
linda said…
What beautiful memories you have held close to your heart.. You are such a gentle kind soul and one of the best mothers I have ever known. I too was raised by the woods and played in the creek.. I am 65 and to this day I have to have ferns around me for comfort. They become part of you but not many people can understand that.. Love your blog.. Keep inspiring!! I have to say the only thing I wanted from my mother when she passed was her recipes too. I gave almost the whole house away to the salvation army etc but the cookbook and her recipes are like gold..
Jim said…
What a lovely treasure to have, especially that you are such a wonderful cook/baker. OK, this time it was the eggs fault, right!!