Losing a Family Member

Thank you for all the well wishes.  I agree that losing Teddy is the same as losing a family member except that it's more like losing the GOOD family member.

Our hearts are broken in a million pieces.

How long does it take for a broken heart to heal?

Comments

Linda said…
A long time, if ever. I still have a few unhealed cracks in my heart.
lady M said…
Love=time. More Love, more time. I am still not over my mother and that was 15 years ago this month. So I expect with the love you felt for Teddy, that it will take awhile. Funny, that we are speaking of my mother and Teddy because she named every male dog she ever had Teddy. There were 3 Teddy's in total. Great name.
Dee said…
It takes a long time. I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet Teddy. And thank you for loving her enough to let her go.
TARYTERRE said…
the love you had for Teddy has been shattered. it's heartbreaking for sure. i am sorry to say... a broken heart never really heals. in time this devastating loss will hurt just as much as it did in the beginning. you'll just learn to tolerate it more. Let the good memories sustain you during this very difficult time. and just know that all of us here in blogland feel your pain.
The only thing I can tell you is that you will carry Teddy in your heart forever. At times you will feel her close by you....I only know because it is that way with Sadie and Maddie for me. The incredible sadness lessens, but the loss never goes away.
Just know that your heart will heal with memories of Teddy. Remember all the great times. It hurts but that's how you can heal. It worked for me. Pebbles is still in my heart and I sometimes catch myself calling her for dinner time. Yeah, it hurts and it will take a long time to heal but remembering helps.
I don't think broken hearts heal so much as we just get accustomed to the hole and with time, the sharp edges are dulled. Eventually it becomes bearable, but we never feel quite right. I've lost two and four legged family members and the grief is much the same. We just get used to it and it becomes a part of the landscape that is our heart and mind. I hope that you'll weather this journey well.
Theresa Young said…
Never. You just learn over time to live with it. But...never. Oh sure, you'll get other pets and you'll love them just as deeply as you loved Teddy. That the price we pay when we love our pets so dearly. And you know what? We wouldn't have it any other way would we?
~ Jayne ~ said…
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, at the irreplaceable loss of beloved Teddy.
Susan said…
Having lost my Scrappy Doo just before Christmas - it was fast, too, so I was not prepared; not that you ever are - it takes a very long time. I am still waiting. I've reached the point where I don't burst into tears instantly. It takes a few seconds. But I now have moments when I am just so glad he was in my life at all. I don't know that you ever get over it. It's more that you learn to make friends with it so you can go on. A big hug to you and your family.
Karin Vail said…
as someone else said - the more you love, the longer the grieving period. It will take a while. What I chose to do in your position - was fill that void with another dog... That way there is not nearly as much time for feeling sad because you have a new bundle of joy to bring you happiness again.
Rain said…
My heart still aches for my pugs who passed away in 2011 and 2014. I guess I've reached a point where I don't burst into tears like Susan mentioned. Having new dogs really does help heal your heart, though it took me a year after Spencer died in 2014 to even consider having another dog. I consider myself really fortunate because I was able to choose when they died. Winston, my 16 year old pug, had dementia at the end and my vet came to my home to take care of the euthanasia. I remember when she pulled up in her car, vowing not to open the door...he was ready to go though, I always wonder to this day if he knew who I was at the end. I have guilt that I waited too long.

Spencer was 19 when he died. He was blind and deaf and couldn't eat well because of his teeth so I decided it was time. It's a horrible decision to make, but you did make the right one for Teddy. I had my pugs since they were a few months old, and I was closer to them than any human.

I didn't cry when my sister died but I still cry over them. Take care Joyce. Teddy had a wonderful life. xxx
kymber said…
i am glad that a few others advised to get another dog...myabe the same breed, maybe a new breed. i hated people for telling me this when i lost a pet. but guess what? they were right.

you will keep teddy in your heart for the rest of your life. but a new furbaby in the next few months will keep you run off your feet, entertained, cause chaos and you will be soooooo busy that you will only every now and again feel the terrible pain. which will pass soon as the new furbaby will be pulling down tablecloths off of superbly-dressed thanksgiving tables and pulling down christmas trees come december.

and teddy will be giggling up in heaven. well maybe not giggling - she's a little too pristene for that - but she'll love watching the daily show.

it's gonna take a while. please be gentle and loving with yourself.
Sol said…
it takes as long as it takes. Dont let anyone tell you "oh it was just an animal". This happened to me, I was so upset I have never spoke to that person again. I prefer my dogs to a lot of people. Grief is a strange thing, I still bought dog treats with out thinking about it for about 3 years. Only stopping myself when I realised that I had picked them up at the cashiers check out.
StrictlyMystic said…
When my Maggie cat died I had a very hard time even though she was ill and old. I read the book Goodbye Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost A Pet and it helped. It didn't contain any great insight but for some reason it just seemed to help me accept her loss. It's been 9 years and thinking about her still brings tears but all of us whose hearts have been owned by a furry friend know that will always happen.
Guillaume said…
It never completely heals but at some point sorrow becomes memory.
Barbara F. said…
Oh no, I feel so bad. Not Teddy. At Rainbow Bridge. She adored all of you too.
Barbara F. said…
Oh no, I feel so bad. Not Teddy. At Rainbow Bridge. She adored all of you too.
SirBrackalot said…
I'm so sorry for your loss. I just loss my cat of 14 years on March 9th. I know how you feel. You gave her a beautiful life, and I know she understood and appreciated that. She'll always be there in spirit around your pond and garden.
Wren said…
Wow, so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself <3
Sparkless said…
So sorry for your loss. I'm not sure how long it take a heart to heal. We lost our lovely kitty almost a year ago and I still miss that dang cat almost every day.
Camille said…
Many years ago, a wise friend told me that we don't learn to live with a huge loss, we just learn to live around it. Truer word never spoken. It does get better, but it takes time to find some level of comfort with your loss. Time is the healer here. Grief is personal and exclusive to you alone. You'll get there...in time. X
I hope your pain is helped by the knowledge that Teddy no longer is suffering.
Betty said…
I don't think you ever do. We had Mandy for 16 years and she has been gone for about the same time. I just can't seem to want another pet. She was the best. I hate to call her a pet, because she was not, she was family.
Wendelou72 said…
The heart never heals completely. But it does get better with time. I ache at the memory of my furry soul mate daily.
Thoughts and blessings for you and your family.
Wende
linda said…
My heart aches for you. I am so sorry. My one greyhound died from bloat. I planted a tree in his memory. We have had four greyhounds and it's always a big worry. Please know we all feel your pain.

janie said…
So sorry for your loss of your dear Teddy.

Keeping you in my thoughts, Janie
Nancy said…
I don't think our hearts ever heal completely, but the loss becomes more tolerable with time. You already know how I hurt after Tucker's wa too early passing to lymphosarcoma. I truly thought I would die. However, 6 months later, I swear it was Tucker who sent me to the SPCA to get another little Beagle who at 8, had just lost his owner. He was the saddest little Beagle I have ever seen but he put his paw through the cage wire and chose me. Oh, there were times he was a royal pain because he had separation anxiety, but we needed each other equally. He never replaced Tucker, nor did Flash ever replace the first two. Adopting senior boys comes with an early expiration date, but oh, the love they give. The cremains of all three now rest in my nightstand and everyone knows they go with me when it is my time. Teddy will always be in your heart - too much love between you for anything else - but someday the pain will lessen and you may find room to love another furbaby. Just maybe, Teddy will send you to one who needs you. You remain in my prayers. I know the pain all too well.
Megs said…
I don’t think we ever get over things like this. We just learn to deal with it.
Debby said…
You will always miss Teddy. The hurt you feel can be overwhelming. Right now you have a big void in your heart. You can't replace Teddy but you can love another pet. Why not give love to another in Teddy's memory. I know others that would say that it's too early but I disagree.
We lost our Yorkie 2 years ago. I knew it was coming. She was only 11. My heart was breaking. Our Springer loved our Izzy. He was such a mess. He walked around like he was having seizures. I found a Chorkie . It took about an hour before Piper started to love on this crazy new puppy. They are just so cute together.
I'm thinking of you. Hugs
Anonymous said…
Teddy was a joy to see and know in part! She was beautiful and her personality was individual!

I know this loss and it tears the meat from the bones in grief.

Saying prayers. . . and you and your family are in my thoughts.

((HUGS))

MY FORMER BLOG: thewildmagnolia_

Sandra Nobles Hagan
Joy said…
Oh Joyce, I'm soooo sorry! Teddy was always a delight to see in your photos. I'm sure you have so many wonderful memories and thanks for sharing those with us too. Just know that you have tons of people thinking of you in this sucky time!
Lots of love from London!